ptrparker:

phil-of-the-phuture:

ptrparker:

why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

*sighs* because the ‘pee’ is silent

no because it’s dead

(via wereitsoeasy)

I wish I could be more.

Six Word Story (via pinkw0lf)

(via forelsket)

  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not

iamnotdoingshittoday:

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?

(via loweryourexpectations)

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(via strugglina)

Society often blurs the lines between drag queens and trans women. This is highly problematic, because many people believe that, like drag queens, trans women go home, take off their wigs and chest plates, and walk around as men. Trans womanhood is not a performance or costume.

Janet Mock, Redefining Realness (via inextinguishabledesires)

(via thetallestmanonearthh)

trillow:

*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first

(via exhists)

(via foxynonsense)

Three o’clock in the morning. The soft April night is looking at my windows and caressingly winking at me with its stars. I can’t sleep, I am so happy.

Anton Chekhov, About Love and Other Stories  (via lamegrownup)

(via sunkenalready)

itsnosecretimanangel:

alphets:

This used to come on Disney.

Lmao

(via foxynonsense)

astonishingly:

okm

(via shouldnt)

Selfies

#me  #selfie  #dumb  

bewbin:

henrycavills:

this is the best photo ive ever seen

'WHERE IS HIS HEAD????”

(via pea-in-the-air)

Same Sex Marriage Survey ›

If you guys could answer this one yes or no question, I would be eternally grateful. It is for my Statistics class and I need answers please.